Recently, someone asked me how I got so strong. The truth is that as much as I'd love to give you 20 steps to becoming strong or 10 ways to overcome your past, I do not have such answers. For a while, I was searching for courage in books, videos and internet articles. I desperately wanted to leave my past behind. All they did was increase my knowledge, I still didn't know how to convert that knowledge into strength. I later found out that I was searching externally for what was in abundance internally.
We have so much on the inside of us that we will never be able to put to great use if we do not first love ourselves. Too many people in this world spend their lives hating on themselves without even realizing it. The reason anyone can see me now or read my posts and immediately consider me strong is because I consciously decided to love myself. I accepted myself for who I really was. First, I was a clueless girl with a sordid past which I couldn't do anything to change; second, I was a confused, hurting girl who was struggling to make something out of the broken pieces of her life; third, even with all the things that had happened to me, I believed in the legitimacy of my dreams, I was determined that the horrors of my past would not be the last chapter in my book, I was going to write new, clean and beautiful chapters. This was the beginning of my journey to becoming strong.
There are still days that I feel like I cannot go on, I look left and right and it feels like I'm struggling with a huge burden on the dark, alone in my journey. Sometimes, I think of the things I've been through, most of them, I didn't deserve and I cry. But unlike those times when I'd get severely depressed or try to hurt myself, after crying, I pick up my baton and I just keep on running my race. The major difference in yesterday's me and today's me is that I actually love myself, flaws, pain, baggage and all. I am going to make something magnificent out of this life. I've been given a second chance and I'll do all within my power not to mess it up.
#strength #courage #friday #IDHMS #survivor #selflove #zeroregrets #survivors #love #onbecoming #onbecomingstrong