As if the community at The Church of Conscious Harmony hasn't done enough to open my heart, I'm given this incredible gift.
Yesterday I had a meeting with Tim our minister. He offers himself for free spiritual counseling, and I have been taking advantage a lot lately with all the craziness going on in my life.
Tim has a way of never telling me what I want to hear. And I am so grateful. Yesterday, as I sat in his office I voiced how frustrated I was. With my practice, my spiritual journey, the circumstances of my life. I wanted him to tell me what to do to fix it. His reply: "Feel it." I burst into tears and just sobbed for almost the entire session. In the midst of my sobbing he asked me where it was in my body. My hand immediately clawed at my chest. I felt as though there was a black hole at the center of my chest and my whole being was caving in around it.
And I just let it. And Tim just watched. I don't think he ever took his eyes off me. He sat there holding space for me, silently letting me know I was safe, I was okay, I was capable of feeling my feelings, I didn't have to push them down anymore.
When the sobs had subsided, he looked at me with a peculiar tilt to his head and said, "I had a thought, do you want a yoga whale?" I had no idea what a yoga whale was, but I said sure. You don't turn down a gift from someone like Tim.
When I returned to CCH to teach yoga last night, Tim had brought this in his car. We unloaded it and he instructed me to lay on it and just breathe. He said it had opened him up. I am so happy to be able to incorporate this amazing tool into my practice. I'm praying my heart grows more and more open through the next phase of my life.
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